I've just been trying to write an article for Depression Alliance on the Climb Out story. I couldn't do it, telling the world your issues isn't as easy and attention seeking as it appears. I think my brain is having information overload.
I will explain ... A typical day - Woke suddenly at 5:30am thinking of Climb Out ... I'm going to stop there .... I did write lots of uninteresting garbage but deleted it ... basically I don't finish till I go to sleep. I put so much time and effort into Climb Out and I'm scared it will fail so I keep moving.
I wan't to go climbing, I want to enjoy failing knowing that my climbing is progressing. I want to get scared of routes not words. I'm frustrated at my injuries, it's been almost 2 months now. Being absorbed in Climb Out has taken my mind off my accidents but it's not enough today.
Last summer my mate Rob and I planned to climb 50 trad routes in 24hrs at Windgather and Castle Naze. Rob had to lead them all but we did solo possibly 20. We planned everything meticulously, we got scared and at times it looked doubtful. We did it with a few minutes to spare and only a perfectly timed setting sun as an audience, I told you we were meticulous.
We did this for the challenge, the excitement and for ourselves. I miss this ... I need to get out ... Climb Out will be closed today due to brain freeze! Although it isn't actually closed or I wouldn't have written this blog ... Oh I'm confused ha ha